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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473937">I always care about you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudesunyoung/pseuds/rudesunyoung'>rudesunyoung</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Watch Me, Watch Us [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BLACKPINK (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slice of Life, Youtube AU, vlogger jennie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:41:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudesunyoung/pseuds/rudesunyoung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jennie loves modeling. She loves flying around the country, attending different shows, and meeting people from around the world. Lisa loves it too because that's what makes Jennie happy. The only problem is, at what point do you draw the line between your happiness and your health?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Watch Me, Watch Us [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1099083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I always care about you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wait, wait, wait. Help me set the table, guys!”</p><p>Hyun crawls underneath the chair, pushing his light-up fire truck through the legs and runs it over Lisa’s big toe as she yelps and almost drops the plates in her hands.</p><p>
  <em>“Hyun!”</em>
</p><p>“Sorry, mommy!” He laughs, peeking his head out from underneath the table and hurriedly ducking back underneath.</p><p>Hanna runs over to the table with a stack of cups in her hands and stretches onto her tippy toes to push the cups on the table.</p><p>“Here you go!”</p><p>She runs off just as fast and before Lisa can grab her attention, the cups fall over and tumble off the side of the table. </p><p>Luckily, they’re plastic, so Lisa doesn’t have to worry about cleaning up shards of glass or explaining to Jennie why another one of their dishes is now broken. </p><p>As the cups roll across the floor, Hyun’s fire truck comes flying out from behind one of the chairs and smacks into the back of the couch, the lights flashing as the sirens start going off.</p><p>“Hyun, I said — ”</p><p>Lisa hears the front door unlock before the kids start screaming at the top of their lungs and alerting her to Jennie’s presence. </p><p>Quickly, the younger girl runs across the room to pick the cups up and sets them down on the table before rushing into the kitchen and grabbing the pot of spaghetti with her shirt, and carefully making her way to the table. </p><p>Just as she’s wiping her hands down the front of her pants, Jennie comes around the corner with Hanna twirling around her and a colorful picture book in her hands as Hyun laughs from on top of Jennie’s suitcase as she wheels it in the room. </p><p>“Hey,” Jennie smiles, her gums peeking out.</p><p>Lisa feels her face grow warm, not only because the apartment is a fucking mess since Jennie had to leave, but because Lisa’s about 99.9% sure that the spaghetti is overcooked and all she wanted to do was have a clean place and some good food waiting for her by the time Jennie got home. </p><p>“S-sorry about the apartment…” Lisa groans and rubs the back of her neck in embarrassment. </p><p>“I was gonna clean up but —!”</p><p>“Honey, it’s okay,” Jennie snorts and rolls her eyes as Lisa frowns. </p><p>Hyun jumps off her suitcase with a shout, falling on his hands and knees, but he gets up quickly and rushes toward Jennie as he grabs her hand. </p><p>“Mama— mama, I— I want...I have something t-t-to show you! Come look!”</p><p>“Really?!” She gasps and Lisa loves how she can do that, just turn into the most excited little kid at the flip of a switch. </p><p>“Why don’t you guys wash up first, okay? It looks like mommy made something really good! Then I’ll listen to all your stories and you can show me everything you did, okay?”</p><p>Hanna looks away from the book in her hands to frown up at Jennie. </p><p>“Are you gonna leave again?”</p><p>“No,” Jennie laughs. “I don’t have to work for a long time. So I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll be here when you come back.”</p><p>Jennie leans down to kiss Hanna’s forehead and she does the same thing to Hyun before patting their bums in the direction of the bathroom. </p><p>“Make sure you use soap!” Jennie shouts as they run down the hallway. </p><p>Lisa twists her fingers in front of her shirt and walks over toward her wife as Jennie smiles and peels her coat off. Lisa takes it from her, rubbing her arms as she does, and tosses her pea coat over the back of the couch. </p><p>Jennie glances over her shoulder when she does that, snorting at the mess and Lisa quietly draws her attention back to her by tugging on her belt loops. Her black blouse is sheer, nearly see-through, and even know she's been on a plane for hours, her makeup still looks impeccable which is just fucking unreal. </p><p>“M’sorry, the apartment is a mess. Once we eat, I’ll clean up, okay?”</p><p>Jennie chuckles, sliding her arms around Lisa’s neck and leaning up to press a kiss on the tip of her nose. She smells like tangerine and honey, a simple scent that makes Lisa close her eyes as she pulls her in and hugs Jennie to her chest. </p><p>Fingernails scratch the back of her scalp and Lisa digs her nose into her hair, smelling her shampoo and rocking them slightly from side-to-side. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Jennie whispers and moves slightly to kiss the side of her neck.</p><p>“We can do it together, hm?”</p><p>“No,” Lisa frowns. “I wanted to do it <em>for</em> you. You’ve been flying back and forth between here and Europe for the past three weeks. You should relax.”</p><p>Jennie rubs their noses together and Lisa hates how much her heart aches when she does that. She hates how much she wants to give Jennie just about anything in this world, but she can’t even keep up with the apartment or cook a decent meal.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she murmurs again. </p><p>“Stop saying that, punk,” Jennie frowns and flicks her earlobe. </p><p>“The kids are alive, right? Last time I checked, no emergency texts from my mom and I saw all ten fingers and toes just a few minutes ago” she grinned. </p><p>Lisa rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the smile across her face when Jennie kissed the tip of her nose again. </p><p>“Everyone’s okay and <em>I’m</em> okay and <em>you’re</em> okay. So, stop, please,” she whined, pulling back to pout at Lisa. </p><p>“Or I won’t show you what I got from Paris…” she murmured, looking up at Lisa from underneath her lashes. </p><p>The younger girl took a deep breath, her chest expanding with the smell of Jennie’s perfume and letting out a small huff as she lightly tapped Jennie’s butt. </p><p>“God, I fucking missed you so much.”</p><p>“Me too,” Jennie smirked, leaning up once again to finally kiss Lisa on the mouth. </p><p>Her lips are so soft and she tastes like a mixture of Trident and lemonade, so even though Lisa tilts her head to deepen the kiss, they have to cut it short when the kids come running back into the kitchen.</p><p>“Gross!” Hanna giggles. </p><p>“Yeah, gross!” Hyun shouts, copying his sister. </p><p>Jennie rolls her eyes but kisses Lisa once and then twice before turning in her arms and going to wash her hands at the sink.</p><p>“Why is that gross? You know that’s how babies are — ”</p><p>“Lisa!” Jennie yells. “Seriously?!”</p><p>“I wasn’t even gonna say it!”</p><p>“Yes you were!” Jennie scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief as she takes a seat at the table. </p><p>“Say what, mama?” Hanna asks, pushing herself onto her knees. </p><p>“Nothing!” Jennie and Lisa say at the same time. </p><p>Hyun giggles, grabbing his fork with one hand and waiting patiently as Lisa spoons the spaghetti into their bowls.</p><p>“I hate you!” Jennie whispers harshly, as Lisa passes her a fork. </p><p>“I love you too,” she laughs and presses a wet kiss to her cheek.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And — and — and I— mama, I- I wiped myself,” Hyun said seriously, gathering all of his stuffed animals underneath his arm as he made his way back toward the bed. </p><p>“Really?” Jennie’s eyes widened. “Who taught you how to do that?”</p><p>“You did, mama!” He laughed, pointing a finger at her. He threw his animals on the bed and then climbed in, pulling his sheet back as Jennie arranged his toys beside him. </p><p>“You learn so fast,” Jennie frowned. “That means I don’t need to teach you anymore, you’re a big boy.”</p><p>Jennie laid down beside him, making a sad face as Hyun twisted around and grabbed the sides of her face with his tiny hands. </p><p>“You can still do it for me, mama. I don’t care.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he nodded. “And I messed up anyway, mommy had to help me,” he laughed. </p><p>Jennie snorted, leaning down to kiss his forehead and laughed as she thought back to that frantic FaceTime call Lisa had made to her while she was in the car on the way to a fashion show. </p><p>The younger girl was nearly in tears as she stood in the bathroom, her phone shaking as she described in graphic detail of what Hyun had did in the bathroom and how his mess had gotten all over her hands. (“I think I have salmonella poisoning!”) (“You can’t get salmonella poisoning from poop, that’s meat!”) (“Then I have a staph infection!”)</p><p>“Mommy told me,” Jennie giggles and runs her fingers through his curls, untangling some of the knots gently. </p><p>“But I like you being a big boy, so you can do it.”</p><p>“I like being a big boy too,” he smiles and snuggles closer to Jennie, his hands grabbing a hold of her shirt. </p><p>For awhile, Jennie lays next to him, lightly scratching his scalp and watching as his eyelids progressively get heavier until he finally nods off. </p><p>Jennie stays around for a little bit longer, watching him sleep until she reaches over to turn the light off and push his animal next to him. </p><p>As she’s walking back to the bedroom, Jennie peeks inside Hanna’s room, seeing the four-year old underneath a mound of blankets and her arm hanging off the side. She chuckles, dimming the light slightly and leaving the door cracked open.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not asleep, yet?” </p><p>Lisa walks into the room quietly, shutting the door behind herself and crawling on to the bed as Jennie rolls over on her back. </p><p>“Nah, I was waiting for you,” she murmurs. </p><p>Lisa smiles, pushing the sheets down and shuffling in beside Jennie as she throws her arm around her waist.</p><p>“You get so clingy when you’re gone for a long time.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Jennie frowns and tries to bite her finger when Lisa pokes her cheek.</p><p>“It’s cute. You should leave more often,” Lisa smiles, kissing her across her face as Jennie giggles and shoves her playfully.</p><p>“Fucker,” she mumbled. “You really want me gone that long, again?” </p><p>“Yeah...” she whispers against her cheek and laughs when Jennie pushes at her shoulder. <em>“No.”</em> She hums. “Missed you like crazy.”</p><p>Jennie turns her head to the side, their lips brushing together softly as she sighs and nips lightly at her bottom lip. Lisa smiles and pushes her hands underneath her sleep shirt, trailing her fingers up the length of her spine and squeezing the top of her shoulder.</p><p>“Take your shirt off,” Jennie whispers, kissing the side of her mouth.</p><p>Lisa pulls away for a second to slip her shirt over her head and Jennie follows suit, tossing her t-shirt over the side of the bed. Lisa shuffles back into her space and kisses her on the mouth, grinning when Jennie pushes her back and straddles her lap.</p><p>“How much did you miss me?” She mouths at her jaw, laughing when Lisa grabs a hold of her hips and tugs her forward.</p><p>“A <em>lot,</em>” she sighs, kissing the side of her neck. “Missed holding you,” she murmured and pressed her thumbs into her hip bones. </p><p>“Missed the way you laugh at my dumb jokes,” she murmurs, and smiles when Jennie giggles. </p><p>Lisa turned her head to lick into her mouth, tasting the toothpaste on her tongue and a hint of Listerine from their mouthwash. She hums when Jennie bites on her bottom lip and tugs on it, dragging one of her hands down her butt and squeezing.</p><p>“Missed your ass,” she chuckles. </p><p>“That’s nothing new,” Jennie snorts. She grabs Lisa’s hand and pushes it down the back of her pants as the other girl makes a noise in the back of her throat. </p><p>“Wow, I fucking love you.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Jennie laughs, grabbing the side of her face and leaning up to peck her forehead. </p><p>“Turn off the light,” she murmurs, gesturing to the bedside lamp. </p><p>“But I wanna see you,” Lisa frowns and kisses Jennie softly. </p><p>“It’s hurting...my eyes…” she whispers and when Lisa pulls back, she pushes Jennie’s hair away from her eyes and studied her face. </p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>“Yeah— I’m alright,” she nods. “It’s just...giving me a headache, a little bit.” </p><p>When she smiles at her, Lisa brings her down to kiss the top of her head and she takes a deep breath, inhaling her shampoo before leaning over to switch the lamp off. </p><p>“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable, okay?”</p><p>In the dark, Lisa can make out Jennie nodding her head and she can see when she tugs on the sheet, pulling it over both of them as Lisa lays back.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you brush your teeth really well,” Lisa laughs, zooming in as Hanna leans over the sink to spit. </p><p>The little girl washes her mouth out and then wets her face before smiling up at Lisa in the mirror. </p><p>“Thank you!” </p><p>She hops off the stool in front of the sink and waves at the camera before dashing out of the bathroom, probably to find Hyun.</p><p>“I smell eggs,” Lisa murmurs behind the camera and she records herself walking down the hallway, lightly pushing some of the toys out of the way and smiling when she sees Jennie dancing to the music at the counter. </p><p>“Hey, sexy!”</p><p>Jennie startles, the spoon in her hand clattering noisily to the floor as Lisa laughs and rushes over to pick it up for her. </p><p>“Don’t do that!” Jennie said smacking her arm. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Lisa chuckled and tossed it in the sink, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.</p><p>“Whatever,” Jennie rolled her eyes and she grabs another spoon off the drying rack, going back to spooning fruit in a bowl. </p><p>Lisa knows that she’s not mad though because when she turns to face her, Jennie kisses her back softly and whispers a soft, <em>“good morning”</em> to her. </p><p>“It looks really yummy,” Lisa says and Jennie snorts, bumping her hip next to her. </p><p>“It’s just scrambled eggs, Li.”</p><p>“The best scrambled eggs,” Lisa says and angles the camera to record her as she stirs the eggs in the pan. </p><p>The heat from the stove fogs up the lens and Lisa wipes it away with her sleeve as Jennie waves at the camera and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. </p><p>“Try it,” Jennie says and scooped some up on her fork, blowing on it carefully before pressing it up against her lips. </p><p>Lisa closes her mouth around the fork, making an exaggerated noise in her throat as she swallows. </p><p>“It’s yummy!” She smiles. “More?” She asks opening her mouth. </p><p>“No,” Jennie snorts. “Grab some plates so we can eat.”</p><p>She moves the pan off of the stove and Lisa frowns, whining into Jennie shoulder but goes to set the table as she asked. </p><p>After setting the table, Lisa gets the kids from their room, Hyun running ahead of them as Hanna swings from Lisa’s arm, shrieking with laughter. </p><p>“Hey, don’t forget to grab your booster seat.”</p><p>Lisa comes around the corner, Hanna letting go of her to help her brother as Hyun pushes his chair out. </p><p>“Baby—”</p><p>Lisa makes her way to the kitchen, the camera angled up to her eye when she sees Jennie turn around with silverware in her hand. </p><p>“Can you grab the bread?” Jennie asks her. </p><p>“Yeah, just—”</p><p>She bangs open one of the cabinet doors, pulling out a roll of bread and turns around just as Jennie grabs the pan of eggs. </p><p>“Do you want me to get ketchup?” </p><p>Jennie is almost halfway out of the kitchen, walking ahead when her legs suddenly give out and she falls to the ground. The pan smacking against the floor as the food spills everywhere.</p><p>“Jennie!” Lisa shouts. The camera falls from her hand as she rushes over to her, sliding to her knees as the kids rush in and they stare in shock as they watch Lisa turn Jennie over. </p><p>“Mommy!" Hanna screams.</p><p>“Hanna! Call the ambulance, right now!” Lisa says quickly. </p><p>Hyun starts wailing, his little fists coming up to cover his eyes as Hanna rushes out of the room and as much as Lisa wants to comfort him, she has to worry about Jennie. </p><p>“Baby…” Lisa says softly. “Baby….baby… please wake up.”</p><p>She pulls her body into her lap, trying to gently pat her cheek but the louder that Hyun’s cries get, the more nervous Lisa feels and the harder she finds it in herself to keep from crying. </p><p>“Jennie, come on.” Lisa murmurs, pushing her hair back and leaning down to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. </p><p>Lisa doesn’t even know that she’s doing it right. Her mouth feels wrong and the more she breathes into her, the less she feels like she’s actually doing any good. </p><p>“Mama!” Hyun cries. </p><p>Tears sting the back of Lisa’s eyes as she alternates between giving her mouth to mouth and performing chest compressions. </p><p>Her chest isn’t moving and Lisa curses underneath her breath when Hanna runs back into the room, her little hand shaking as she clutches Lisa’s cellphone.</p><p>“They’re— they’re coming, mommy.” </p><p>Lisa picks Jennie up, cradling her to her chest as Hanna grabs Hyun and rushes over to Lisa. The little boy is nearly inconsolable, his entire face red and saliva dribbling down his chin as he pushes himself into Lisa’s leg. </p><p>“Mama…” Hanna whimpers, and she doesn’t touch her, simply standing to the side with her bottom lip worried between her teeth. </p><p>“Why is mama not waking up?” She sniffles, looking up at Lisa. </p><p>“I-I- I don’t know, honey,” Lisa shakes her head and squeezes her eyes close as she hears sirens in the distance.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Here, let’s wipe your nose,” Lisa says quietly. </p><p>She shifts Hyun in her lap, grabbing a tissue out of the box next to her and wiping away the snot from under Hyun’s nose. </p><p>When she finishes, she balls it up and tucks it into the pocket of her flannel shirt, holding him close as Hanna crawls back into her lap. </p><p>The hospital buzzes with chatter as Lisa sits with the kids in the emergency room. There’s a few other people spread out in chairs around the room, the TV acting as background noise as the news plays and the receptionist answers phone calls. </p><p>They’ve been here for just about an hour, waiting for a doctor ever since Jennie was rushed in and Lisa was told that she couldn’t go back with her. </p><p>The harsh fluorescent light hurts her eyes, but it keeps her distracted from thinking about Jennie and what could be going on back there. The kids also help.</p><p>Hyun hasn’t said anything since they were loaded into the ambulance and taken here. He’s been too busy crying and refusing to be let out of Lisa’s arms. As he sniffles underneath her arm now, Lisa rubs his back and kisses his head, murmuring that <em>“it’s gonna be okay.”</em></p><p>Hanna has been quiet as well, simply trying to keep Hyun from crying, but also keeping her usual flood of questions to a minimum. Lisa is thankful for that because she honestly doesn’t know what she could say to her right now. </p><p>She’s just as confused as they are.</p><p>Her leg won’t stop shaking and she <em>knows</em> that Hanna can feel it, that she shifts with the movement of her leg but doesn’t say anything about it. </p><p>Lisa wants to vibrate out of the chair. She wants to run past the double doors and make sure Jennie is okay. Her fingers are shaking as she holds on to the kids and Lisa is afraid that if she closes her eyes, that she’ll see the way Jennie looked falling to the ground.</p><p>When she feels a hand on the side of her neck, Lisa looks down to see Hanna staring up at her. Her eyes and her nose are still red and Lisa hates that she feels her eyes start to water, that she can’t keep shit together when her kids are scared out of their goddamn minds. </p><p>But she’s fucking <em>terrified</em> because she doesn’t know what’s wrong with Jennie and she doesn’t know how to console her own damn kids. </p><p>“It’ll be okay, mommy,” Hanna whispers, her tiny fingers rubbing her skin. </p><p>Lisa chokes out a cry, squeezing her eyes shut as she shakes her head and pulls Hanna close. </p><p>“I should be telling <em>you</em> that,” she murmurs into her hair. </p><p>Her fingernails dig into the skin of her neck and Lisa kisses her head, rubbing her cheek against her hair.</p><p>“Mama’s gonna be okay, alright? Don’t worry. The doctors are gonna make sure she’s okay.”</p><p>She pats her bum, listening to her breathing as she tries to will herself to believe her own words. Hanna closes her eyes and Lisa kisses her again, their combined weight helping her to relax as she stares at the double doors.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s 10:33 a.m., nearly two hours after they arrived when a doctor finally comes out to speak to Lisa. </p><p>She’s a short woman, with medium length hair and large glasses. Lisa stands up automatically, her arms secure underneath both of the kids as they jostle in her grip. </p><p>Her name tag reads Dr. Fitzsimmons and when she offers a small smile towards her, Lisa feels a little piece of herself come back together. </p><p>“You must be Ms. Manoban, correct?”</p><p>“Yeah- yes, I am. I’m Jennie’s wife. Please...can you please tell me what’s going on? We’ve been here for nearly two hours and I haven’t heard anything—“</p><p>“Take a deep breath,” she says softly, placing a warm hand on her arm and steering her back to the chair. </p><p>“Sit, please,” she gestures behind Lisa. “Don’t worry, just sit.”</p><p>Lisa doesn’t want to sit. She wants to know what the hell is going on and whether or not Jennie is okay and what they’re doing to make sure she’s gonna be alright. </p><p>The last thing she wants to do is sit; she wants to see her fucking wife.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Lisa shakes her head and sniffles as Hyun pushes his face into her chest. </p><p>“Please, is- is my wife...is she okay?”</p><p>Dr. Fitzsimmons purses her lips and gently guides Lisa back down into the chair before she sits down opposite of her and folds her hand in her lap. </p><p>“First and foremost, <em>yes</em>, Jennie—your wife— is stable and she’s okay.” </p><p>Lisa feels her breath leave her body in a huge exhale, her shoulders slumping with the weight of her words as her eyes start to water.</p><p>“She’s— she’s okay?” She whimpers.</p><p>“Yes,” she nods and gently squeezes Lisa’s hand. </p><p>“She’s okay. Her vitals are stable and she’s resting right now. It appears…” she murmurs and her eyebrows furrow as she looks ahead. “That she was suffering from acute exhaustion. Her blood pressure was very low and once she regained consciousness, she expressed how tired and lightheaded she’d been feeling for the past week or so.”</p><p>“She’s a—” Lisa licks her lips. “She’s a model and she’s been in Europe traveling for a photoshoot and a fashion show for the past three weeks.”</p><p>“Yes, she explained that to me,” Dr. Fitzsimmons nodded. “I’m afraid that her workload and flying back and forth between schedules has severely impacted her ability to sleep. Her body is simply tired,” she sighs. </p><p>“She needs to rest and take it very slowly. I’ve already recommended that she take some time off for at least two weeks and stay in bed and keep herself hydrated.” </p><p>“Can I— can we see her?”</p><p>“Of course,” Dr. Fitzsimmons smiles warmly and stands up at the same time as Lisa. </p><p>“I’ll show you to her room and give you guys a minute to be alone.”</p><p>Lisa thanks her and follows the doctor out of the emergency room, watching her as they walk past the double doors and down the long hallway. </p><p>Back here, the hospital is quiet, with the sound of machines and hospital staff talking and walking back and forth between different rooms. Dr. Fitzsimmons pushes open one of the doors, the natural sunlight coloring the room as Lisa feels the AC hit her face. The curtain is pulled to the side so she can see Jennie sitting up on the small bed, an IV hooked into her arm and her eyes widen when she sees Lisa for the first time. </p><p>Lisa bursts into tears. </p><p>She crosses the room in two long strides, almost dropping the kids in her arms as Jennie grabs her around the back of her neck and cries into her hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lisa’s hands are still shaking, not as bad as they were earlier, but she doesn’t think they’re gonna stop. Jennie is holding one of her hands, her grip tight as Hyun lays against her side and Hanna lays next to her feet, passed out. </p><p>They’re both snoring quietly, the noise slightly comforting to Lisa because she can feel how hard her heart is beating in her chest and the sound of blood rushing in her ears is scaring her. </p><p>When she touches Jennie’s thumb, the older girl stares at her, half of her face pressed into the pillow as Lisa leans over and kisses her nose.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she murmurs quietly. </p><p>“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Lisa shakes her head. “I should be the one apologizing. I should have known something was wrong. You were working so hard and then you just came back and I —”</p><p>Lisa pushes her face into her neck, trying to keep herself from crying but it’s useless. Jennie strokes the back of her head as she cries into her skin, her shoulders shaking when Jennie tries to calm her down. </p><p>“Please, don’t cry. I’m okay, Lisa. I’m okay now.”</p><p>Lisa shakes her head and when Jennie pushes her away, she uses her thumb to wipe away the water under her eyes and her nose.</p><p>“Don’t cry,” she frowns and pulls her close enough to kiss her. </p><p>Lisa doesn’t respond, just touches the top of Jennie’s arms and the side of her neck, and for now, it’s enough that she can feel the pulse underneath her skin and hear the steady beat of her heart on the monitor.</p><p>“I’m sorry that I scared you.”</p><p>“I’m sorry that I didn’t take care of you,” Lisa whispers back.</p><p>When she pulls back, Lisa sits back down, the chair creaking underneath her weight as she wipes her eyes. Jennie doesn’t let go of her hand and she’s glad about that because she might vomit if she does. </p><p>The silence that sits between them is enough for Lisa to dip back into her head, to think about how they should approach this. Lisa’s never experienced something like this, she’s never seen Jennie faint or experience anything close to that in all the years that they’ve known each other. </p><p>She wants to say something but she doesn’t know how to. It makes her think back to when she was waiting in the emergency room and Hanna had told her that everything would be okay. It makes her feel pathetic because she still doesn’t know how to properly articulate what it is that she wants to say. </p><p>When she feels a tug on her hand, Lisa looks up to see Jennie staring at her again. She looks like she wants to say something, so Lisa waits. </p><p>“I think I can take a break.” </p><p>“Do you want to?” </p><p>“Do I have a choice?” Jennie raises an eyebrow. “I should— I need— to take a break. Just until I can figure things out.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to be unhappy again,” <em>But I want you to be healthy</em>. Lisa doesn’t tell her that, but she has a feeling that Jennie understands her even the same. </p><p>She knows what’s it like to continuously push yourself and she hates that it’s come to this. She hates that Jennie is lying in a hospital bed and their kids are passed out on top of her and she can’t do something as simple as her job. </p><p>“I don’t want to make you unhappy.” </p><p>Lisa scoffs, scrubbing her face with her other hand before she wipes her nose again. </p><p>“You don’t make me unhappy; you could never do that, but you scared the shit out of me,” she says honestly. </p><p>“When I saw you...when I— when I saw you hit the <em>ground,</em>” she shook her head. “My heart stopped.” </p><p>Her leg starts bouncing again and Jennie squeezes her hand, the press of her wedding band a comforting reminder to Lisa that she’s still here. She’s still here with them. </p><p>She doesn’t want to visualize that again, but it’s seared into the back of her head and when Hyun makes a noise beside her, it reminds Lisa of the way he had wailed at seeing Jennie. </p><p>“Just— we’ll work something out, okay?” She lifts her hand up to kiss her knuckles and Jennie nods, bringing a hand up to yawn into her fist.</p><p>“Please,” Lisa says quietly. “Just get some rest, yeah? Once the doctor gives the okay, we’ll go home and figure it out. Together.”</p><p>“Okay,” Jennie says softly. When she lays her head back against the pillows, Lisa pulls her chair closer and watches her as she drifts off to sleep. She watches the steady rise of her chest and the even sound of her breathing as her grip becomes slack.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Lisa comes back with a late breakfast, Hyun and Hanna are both sitting up in bed, laughing at Jennie as she makes funny faces at them. </p><p>Hyun keeps grabbing her hand and he giggles when Jennie playfully bites at his hand. </p><p>“Hey, I got you guys cereal.”</p><p>It’s not much, but she was too nervous to wait in line for anything else. It felt weird to leave the room, but now that she’s back it makes her feel a little bit better. </p><p>Especially now that the kids seem okay.</p><p>Lisa sets the tray down on the table and unwraps the foil on top before unscrewing the cap on the bottle of milk and pouring some into each bowl. She pushes one towards Hyun and gives the other one to Hanna. In the small bag, she pulls out a muffin and rips away the plastic to break a piece off and feed it to Jennie. </p><p>“You gotta eat something too, baby.”</p><p>Jennie nods and they sit in silence for awhile, the only sounds are of Hyun slurping his milk loudly and Hanna offering to feed Jennie too. </p><p>A little while later, Jennie’s given the okay to be discharged and after recommending her some things that she should do, Lisa is calling an Uber while they wait outside the front of the hospital. </p><p>The drive back home is quiet. Hanna, who’s usually talkative around strangers, sits in the backseat holding Jennie’s hand, while Hyun dozes off against her shoulder. </p><p>It’s almost like rewinding the day back a few hours when they get back to the apartment. Everything is the same as when they left in a rush. Jennie walks with the kids to their bedroom and Lisa works on cleaning the apartment. She sweeps up the eggs on the floor, puts the pan in the sink, and picks up the camera that she had dropped.</p><p>When she turns it over, the lens is cracked and the screen is blue. She sets it down on the counter and grabs a glass from the cabinet, filling it up with water. </p><p>As she’s walking back to their room, the door is partially opened, so she can hear Jennie talking to the kids as she pauses outside their room. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay, mama?”</p><p>“Yeah, I feel a lot better now. You know...I’m really <em>really</em> sorry for scaring you both. I didn’t mean to do that.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault!” Hanna says quickly. “But-but- why were you on the floor?”</p><p>“I think that was my body telling me to rest.”</p><p><em>“Ohhh…</em>” Hanna says softly. “Do you want to sleep now, then?”</p><p> </p><p>Lisa knocks quietly on the door before pushing it open. All three of them are under the blankets and it makes Lisa’s heart ache when Jennie looks up at her with a small smile. </p><p>“Here, drink this,” Lisa says, offering her the glass of water.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Lisa climbs in bed, shifting Hyun to the side and wrapping her arm around his waist as she makes herself comfortable. After Jennie empties the glass, she sets it down on the nightstand and turns on her side to face Lisa. The kids are squeezed in between the both of them, but that doesn’t stop her from leaning up on her elbow and pressing a kiss to the middle of her forehead. </p><p>“Let’s sleep,” she murmurs. </p><p>“But—”</p><p>“It’s okay. We can talk later, just sleep, please?”</p><p>Jennie sighs but nods her head, reaching out to stroke the side of Lisa’s face before making herself comfortable. Just like in the hospital, Lisa watches her slowly drift off to sleep, her eyelids growing heavy until they finally fall shut.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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  <p>
    <strong>1 week later</strong>
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</div><p><strong>@Jennierubyjane</strong>: hi guys! Sorry for the slow updates, lately. Unfortunately, I’m gonna take a rest for a while to focus on my health, so I don’t know when I’ll post another video, but I’ll keep you guys updated. I’m okay! But my health comes first and Lisa and I have agreed to take a step back from YouTube. I really really love you guys so much and I’m really sorry for this sudden announcement.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, does that still hurt?” Lisa asks Jennie, rubbing the bruise on her knee that’s now turned a dark green color. </p><p>Jennie looks away from the TV, raising an eyebrow at her when she looks down at her legs in Lisa’s lap. </p><p>“Not really, I was icing it last week, so I’m okay.”</p><p>Lisa rubs the area gently, frowning down at the bruise until she leans down to press a kiss there. </p><p>She trails her lips up the front of her leg, reaching the hem of her shorts as Jennie laughs and tries to unsuccessfully push her away. </p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>“No,” she smiles, biting into the skin of her thigh as Jennie gasps. </p><p>“Lisa—!”</p><p>Hanna comes running into the room with the towel wrapped around herself. She’s dripping wet all over the floor and Jennie yells, Lisa startling as she catches sight of the little girl. </p><p>“Why are you out of the tub, Hanna?!”</p><p>The four-year old’s eyes are wide as she jumps in place, Lisa telling her to stop before she hurts herself, when they hear Hyun’s high-pitched laughter.</p><p>“He pooped in the tub, mama!”</p><p>Lisa’s jaw drops as Jennie yelps, stumbling off the couch so fast that Lisa doesn’t have time to react as she dashes down the hall, Hanna running after her with her feet squeaking against the hardwood.</p>
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